the wonderful world of levi

(What a mixture in the title, eh? lol)

(My belly @20 wks 5 days, today I am 21 wks)

Epic fail on my part for not updating often. I suck at life. Anywho, I have been craving potato skins like crazy... Levi will probably be a meat & potato kind of guy, just like his mama! hahaha & my late night sugar cravings are not getting any better, and I'm not too happy about it. Chocolate, or Jolly Ranchers. That's it. Or ice cream. Or smoothies. LOL okay, or anything :) Also, cheese, onions, and salt (salty fries - yum!). Oh, and Coke. An ice cold Coke means more to me now than ever... :smacks forehead: RESIST! RESIST! lol 

My baby shower isn't until April, but I can't help but micromanage and plan every detail. It's going to be a Garden Party and I probably save every single picture of every single thing I see that I like. It's absurd, but I'm looking at it like this: if I figure out what I like now (which most of it consists of altering/crafting) I can work on it over time and not have to do everything at once. So INYOURFACE! :) There's is always a reason to my madness. I don't want to give too much away because some of you who are coming might read this and I don't want to spoil the cuteness! :)

So my mom (HI MOM!) has been telling me to blog about Hydrocephalus (water on the brain), which Baby Levi has. It is caused by (what the doctors aren't exactly 100% is, but are pretty sure) an aqueductal stenosis, which is a narrowing/blockage of a channel in the back of the brain that drains the fluid your brain makes and is supposed to absorb. First they said his head was measuring too large, and the biggest measurment they got of his ventricles the first day was 18mm (the norm being between 7-10mm, boys usually measure higher than girls), and the lowest measurement they got that day was 15mm. The last time he got measured (about a week later) they didn't give us the measurement, but they used the word "moderate," and last time (measuring 18mm) he was "severe." So what does this mean for Baby Levi? Well, depending on how much fluid collects on his brain, he will more than likely have some cognitive developmental problems. What kind? We won't know until he gets here. I will have to have a C-Section, probably before my due date (June 2). The doctors have informed me that if I come in for an ultrasound and he starts to measure too big that they could admit me right then and there to have him (if it becomes safer for him to be in this crazy world rather than in the womb).

(Levi @ 17wks, sorry about the flash!)

At first this was very overwhelming and hard to take in. Initially the doctors told me he probably had Down Syndrome because they also thought they saw a heart defect (he does not have a heart defect). Now, however, I'm focused on getting him here and taking care of him, no matter what that job might entail. He is mine, all mine, sent from God to me for a reason, and I am here ready and willing to take on this duty. I'm not going to abandon him when he needs me most, or because he might not be "perfect" to the rest of the world. He will always be my perfect little man. I am so in love with this little boy and I haven't even met him yet! My mom always told me I wouldn't understand how much she loves me until I had children of my own, and I haven't even had him yet, but I think I'm starting to understand. He is all I think about every second of every minute of everyday, and I can't wait to introduce him to all that I love about this world, or for him to introduce me to all of the crazy things I know he'll discover!