the wonderful world of levi

Dear Levi,

    As I sit here writing this, you are moving about in my belly just itching to get out! There’s only one more full day that separates your beautiful eyes from meeting mine, and I can’t wait. I wanted to stop and take the time to write you a letter before you get here, not only for you, but as a reminder to myself. There are a lot of things I want to say. I know I won’t be able to remember them all and I’ll probably think of more things along the way, so this letter to you will always be an “open letter.”
    First of all, please always know that I wanted you and loved you before I even knew you were going to be coming to this world. When I found out you were coming to me I was immediately ecstatic, and there was no doubt in my mind that you were going to be the most amazing gift I had ever received.  Getting you here has been quite an adventure! All of the preparing and planning, wishing and hoping, excitement and wonder has been the most exciting time in my life. I have never been so happy about anything, and I truly mean that. I have never, not for a split second, viewed you as a “burden,” and I never, ever will.
    I promise to always give you what you need, and to give you what you want as much as I can. I promise to raise you as a courteous, generous, strong, loving, caring, grateful individual. I promise to show you the greater things in life, things that money can’t and won’t ever be able to buy. I promise to push you to try hard and do your best, but not so much as to make you miserable. I promise to show you to work hard, and play hard. I promise to always stop and smell the flowers with you. I promise to take our time together, answer all of your questions, show you new things and always make you giggle. I will always try to make sense of things for you as best I can, but sometimes I know I won’t be able to. When I can’t, I will still try, no matter how hard or how long it takes. I promise to protect you, but to let you fall down sometimes. I promise to let you hurt, but to always be there to try and make it better. When I can’t make it better, I will try to help you figure out how to make it better. I promise to punish and discipline you in ways that you understand, not to hurt you but to benefit you. You may not understand right away, but one day, you will. I promise to fit my life around you and not to try to fit you into my life. I promise to be honest with you, to always include you in big decisions that will impact both of our lives. I promise to make all of your special moments even more special than you thought they could ever be. I promise to always go over and beyond for you. I promise to always smile when you walk into the room, ask you how your day is going and have moments where it’s just me and you, kid. I promise to listen. I promise to give you undivided attention. I promise to kiss you even when your friends are around and embarrass you. I promise to show you good music, and let you make it on your pots and pans. I promise to make a mess with you. I promise I will always be there, and if for some reason, some epic reason, I can’t, I will make sure somebody IS there for you. I don’t ever want you to feel alone, because you are never alone. I am always with you, even if you can’t see me. That’s how this crazy love I have for you works. It never leaves, it never walks away, it always surrounds you with an intense glow that shines so bright you can’t see it with your eyes. I promise that I will ALWAYS have your back. I’ve had it long before you got here, and I always will.
    It’s me and you, you and me, our own little fighting team. Nothing will EVER come between us. You are a part of me now, no matter where we are, what we’re doing or who we’re with. You’ll never know how much I love you, and if you ever did, you’d have a heart attack. You are the center of my whole life. You are my everything. I love you.

Forever and for always,
Mommy